Here’s the thing…. doctors are AMAZING. I’ve had a 20+ year career as a midwife so far and I have seen doctors do incredible things, they have the knowledge and skills to save lives. People choose to be doctors because they want to care for other people. They want to make a difference.
But here’s the other thing, with their knowledge and skill sets, obstetric doctors have the power to help empower you, to work in partnership with you, fundamentally to promote a plus size pregnancy and birth experience that you feel in control of. And time and again I have seen doctors as well as midwives do this in incredible ways (it is how I strive to learn the way I do things, through incredible mentors).
Here’s the difficult thing though – the system that they work in means the way they do they make a difference when it comes to pregnancy – a normal life event, not an illness – is really quite complicated.
Let’s think of a doctor that you might see, or have seen, during your pregnancy. Let’s call her Dr Expert. She is an obstetrician, and she does really know her stuff. You are in safe hands for sure. But let’s think about her training and her experience in pregnancy and birth versus what pregnancy and birth is actually mostly like – it’s a little skewed.
Most pregnancies and births are trouble free, with no medical issues, no interventions. In the UK most pregnancies and births involve decision-making by the pregnant woman, her partner, with advice and information from their midwife.
Let’s say Dr Expert has been a doctor for sixteen years and a specialist for more than ten of those. Way back when she was a medical student, she saw a couple of babies being born without any interventions. She wasn’t given the chance to go along to any midwife clinics to see woman after woman having trouble-free pregnancies, or to go to a birth centre to see women doing their thing with no doctors around. Of course, she knows that pregnancy can happen without issues and that it is a normal physiological process, but it’s not been her experience for this past couple of decades. Her training is in detecting issues, solving problems, averting things going wrong.
So when she sees you, she’s thinking of RISK. She is thinking of what might happen. Because that’s er job. And though those risks are SMALL, her experience stacks the odds against her communicating that to you effectively, against her reassuring you.
And… here’s what can make all the difference… if she is not a great communicator, she might do that really insensitively. She might stigmatise you, really worry you, give you a totally inaccurate view of your pregnancy and make you feel ignored as an individual, a woman with a precious, unique pregnancy.
Why am I telling you this? Well, because if your doctor is not reassuring you, that’s just her poor communication style, her perspective. If you have a problem-free pregnancy and birth, which you’re likely to do – that’s great, but it means there’s nothing for Dr Expert to do, so she’s not thinking about that. Plus she has limited experience of problem-free birth to alter her perspective.
But the facts about your chances of running into complications remain the same – the chances are LOW. The doctor has got her perspective, and it is up to you to grab hold and hold tight to YOUR perspective.
That way you can go along to see Dr Expert with questions that will help you plan for your pregnancy, get the most out of her knowledge and expertise, without letting her perspective or communication style knock you off your stride. It’s about your perspective of wat she her role is – and it’s to be of service to you!
Think of it like this – she’s there to do her job, to keep women and babies safe when complications arise in pregnancy. You can focus on what you need for your own unique pregnancy, so go to see her with the questions you need answered. Get the knowledge, get the perspective, be in control.