Plus Size and Pregnant: How do you FEEL?

How do you feel? Why am I asking? Well, I’ve been a midwife for more than two decades and so I know that how a woman is actually feeling is something that is sometimes overlooked in pregnancy care.

Sure, a midwife or doctor might want to know… Do you feel unwell? Do you feel your baby moving? Do you have headaches? But just…. How do you feel, we don’t always pay attention to that! And that should change, because you can often find out so much from asking how a person feels.

Because pregnancy is not smooth sailing for everyone, even if you are delighted and excited to welcome a new baby. This is a time of massive transition. It is a deeply emotional experience. And every has fears and worries.

And if you are plus size, you may have particular worries – worries about keeping healthy, worries about being judged, worries about whether you’ll be listened to, and respected.

I want all women to expect and anticipate respectful treatment – and in my experience thankfully that is what most women get.

But if you aren’t treated with respect, if you’re made to feel bad, or ashamed, or have your choices undermined, or you don’t have your questions answered, it is really important that you challenge this, if you can.

But, just as important is making sure that you don’t let these negative feelings drive your actions and your choices.

Doctors, nurses and midwives are professionals trained to care for you and to keep you and your baby safe. If one of us communicates poorly with you, challenge it, ask for the evidence underpinning your suggested care plan, make sure you have the freedom to make the right choice for you.

But make sure that choice isn’t driven by an emotional response to an experience that has upset you. Check in with how you feel always, get the evidence, breathe, think, talk to your birth partner, and make sure you don’t let negativity, or fear drive your choices.

This is difficult, and it cuts both ways. Don’t let yourself feel pushed into a choice that you don’t feel convinced of, or don’t fully understand the reasons for. And also, don’t say ‘no’ when communication is the issue, but perhaps the clinical advice is the right thing for you. Ask for another conversation, or another care provider if you need to, to help you get the information you need or to make the right choice for you,.

Good communication is so important. Feelings are so important – feeling supported, feeling listened to, feeling respected.

So pay attention to how you feel. Take your time, check in, talk, think, consider your feelings when you’re making those important pregnancy choices.